Wednesday, September 23, 2009
*smacks head*
AHHH!!!! STEPH! THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE ALL DOWN AND MOODY AND DEPRESSED!! PEOPLE NEED TO BE ENCOURAGED OUT THEREE! UGHH STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE BY WALLOWING IN SELF PITY! ALRIGHT! C'MON ON WORLD! I AIN'T GONNA HAND GOD'S CHILDREN OVER TO YOU TO BE TRAMPLED OVER! I SHALL TRIUMPH WITH THE HELP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT....OKAY I SOMEHOW FEEEL A BIT RENERGIZED...
I reject
Hmm..thinking about it, I refuse to think I'm burnout...call it denial BUT, I still was able to do all of the things I wanted to, I had the energy...I only didn't plan the having a lot of relationship problems factored in...otherwise I think I wouldn't be feeling this way...
ooohh! another revelation
yeah since I've put so much energy into the events I did in the summer, plus my energy was drained by my friends(not blaming them) but if I had healthy friendships, I would have been able to gain some energy back...but since I didn't really have friends to give back...I was left with nothing...I guess it's always good to store some emergency energy...hehe...
there's my revelation of the day...
I notice I think clearer when I'm at school, I know it's because it's away from the city...Satan sure has a very strong hold on SF and I feel when I go back to SF, I feel depressed, unmotivated, lazy, etc....
then when I'm at San Mateo I feel like I'm seeing for the first time and the chains are broken...
of course the further away, the better....
okay enough crazy talk from me...=]
ooohh! another revelation
yeah since I've put so much energy into the events I did in the summer, plus my energy was drained by my friends(not blaming them) but if I had healthy friendships, I would have been able to gain some energy back...but since I didn't really have friends to give back...I was left with nothing...I guess it's always good to store some emergency energy...hehe...
there's my revelation of the day...
I notice I think clearer when I'm at school, I know it's because it's away from the city...Satan sure has a very strong hold on SF and I feel when I go back to SF, I feel depressed, unmotivated, lazy, etc....
then when I'm at San Mateo I feel like I'm seeing for the first time and the chains are broken...
of course the further away, the better....
okay enough crazy talk from me...=]
Summer is fading...
Man I need to blog more! I think it helps me sort out my thoughts and such...
So my minds a mess now and I feel like I have mind lag...or something...like jetlag but lagging in the area of responding to people and thinking clearly...
Well the past weeks have been more of a crash and burn with my soul...
and I don't think I want to help anyone anymore....let's see who are my real friends who would stick with me even if I have nothing to offer them...I'm going to try to be careful around one way friendships....I'm pretty tired of a lot of things right now, Well I'll bet I won't have much to worry about because as of my current status...I am slowly losing all of my friends...
What else can I do except to hold on to the one REAL thing more tightly than before?
So my minds a mess now and I feel like I have mind lag...or something...like jetlag but lagging in the area of responding to people and thinking clearly...
Well the past weeks have been more of a crash and burn with my soul...
and I don't think I want to help anyone anymore....let's see who are my real friends who would stick with me even if I have nothing to offer them...I'm going to try to be careful around one way friendships....I'm pretty tired of a lot of things right now, Well I'll bet I won't have much to worry about because as of my current status...I am slowly losing all of my friends...
What else can I do except to hold on to the one REAL thing more tightly than before?
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