hm..

i want to post something but there's just too many thoughts going on right now, it's like ahhh..haha later then..

Image

the other day, Saturday really...after softball practice, was getting ready to go watch X-men Wolverine Orgins....
so I was getting ready, I washed the sweat off my face, and I went to my room and I took a look in the mirror and I couldn't take my eyes off, my thoughts were, was this really me? This is how I look like? I felt like I've never seen myself in the mirror and I'm in awe of this thing that can reflect my image and I started to stare and the longer I stared, the longer I felt a feeling that didn't come from me, a feeling that I only realized later that I was enjoying my image, I felt satisfied in my image and how God created me...every line, contour, color, shape of my face....

God was letting me borrow His eyes. And when He sees me, He delights in me, how I was formed, how I look like....
It was very serene and made me feel confident in my self image....

Have you looked in the mirror lately and scream with excitement that God looks so beautiful?
He DID make YOU in His image....why wouldn't you look like Him?

Burnt Out...or not..

So I was in San Diego for a bit this month and I was able to attend a Christian club called Intervarsity with Karen and one thing that stood out to me was this.
Christians are more known for what they oppose than who they are.
and it's so totally true!! especially with these propositions about gay marriages and stuff..yeah..

Something else that happened this week...
Yeah I am involved with a lot of activities...
school,
work,
family retreat worship and committee
VBS committee
praise night
sports

hm... but I've been feeling so blah lately and down...and I feel really antisocial, like I don't want to hang out with people..
and I've been thinking about it whether this is what it feels like to be burnt out...
but I think about it more...
and being burnt out is when you blame the church, blame other people, just plain BLAMING others for how you feel and for everything...

instead...I've been feeling that everyone else is blaming ME....for things....making me feel like such a failure...
so what's the opposite of burning out? burning in?
what?!
I'm confused...

on another note...I've been addicting to watching House again...fun things...=]
funny watching House makes me want to become a doctor more...and I feel like I've just totally missed my chance...cause I would have tried harder to ace classes and stuff...but things didn't work out. I have way too many hobbies for my own good....Too many hobbies lead me so lost in what I want as a concentrated major....
I think the major goal of why I want to pursue a Design and Media Arts major is because the media is going to always be a worldly thing, they present images that are not suitable for God's standard of living....like...they really concentrate on sexual images to catch peoples attention...I really wonder if I can change that...use more holy images to catch people's attention?...hm...
*ponders* that totally doesn't really make sense but meh, I still have time to sort things out...