Larger Than Life

there was a thought that described my feeling lately....
but i forgot it...=[

hm..im feeling discomfort....
...dissatisfied?
...empty?
discontent?
no...

one thing i am soo glad is that my brother had accepted Christ and he's baptized so i do know he has acknowledge Jesus as his savior! so if he dies out in battle....i will look forward in seeing him again in heaven...i will definitely be sad...i really hope nothing bad happens to him...GOD PROTECT HIM!
i was actually surprised during the ceremony that the marines pray to God and they have church services for the recruits. that was awesome.

one thing i was thinking about the other day...
there are so MANY passions/inventions out there! sports! art! music! technology! medicine! etc..

God who invented everything out here on Earth, knows each instrument on how it works and what the purpose is. Exactly everything.
We can know more about God from His CREATION. It's like how you see a piece of art work and it reflects the artist - personality, likes and dislikes, stuff about the artist.

I think very much that not one person knows everything single thing about one thing. Meaning, not one person knows EVERYTHING about basketball,
not one person knows EVERYTHING about being a doctor,
not one person knows EVERYTHING about history,
even if someone were to know at least 99% of everything about one thing, it would take a lifetime!
think of all the creations God has set for mankind! and more to come! think of all the professions God invented, all objects....
theres a gazillion of em! this proves it takes a much longer time to even know a part of God! it takes a lifetime to know a little about God! He is just too MAGNIFICENT, too IMMENSE, too TREMENDOUS, too EXTENSIVE! get the picture? It definitely will take an eternity to know all about God. Definitely not in our lifetime will we be able to know everything about God. That also includes His plans.

yeah...

i feel quite numb of feelings for people right now....
relationships just seems to be crumbling in front of my eyes....
its making me want to shut myself away from everyone...but i must not...that's too easy...

i feel disturbed...
of something...but i dont know what! i hope this is from God...i just can't put my finger on it....
hm...


Hey God...
Thank you for always being there for me! Always! You are bigger than me in every way! and You know what's best for me. Thanks for watching out for me! Even though you have millions of others to take care of! I ask now if you may help me remove some bitterness in my heart...it's not a good feeling and I don't want to harbor it in my heart...I feel a little dead hearted right now. Yes I hate your guts Satan. In Jesus name stop messing with my head! You have no right to mess with me. In Jesus name. I don't even know if that is exactly how I am feeling but you, oh God, know exactly what I am going through right now. Even I don't know myself. But I also ask you lead us in the winter snowtrip/retreat for the college people. We are exasperated about planning this together and it's so frustrating! We seem to be growing apart than together and this is a stage where we need to reconcile with each other. Please help us with this, especially me. I pray for patience. I pray for the fire within me that is burning with passion for you Lord! Continue to walk with me. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.